Bikers beware
MY OATH TO BIKERS
I Callie Hayes, student of the University of Texas in Austin, will not scoff at you as you roll by on your two-wheeled wonders. HOWEVER, should you accidently bump into some innocent bystander and plummet to the concrete scraping your pant-rolled legs and unprotected palms I will not stop to pick you up. This is not because I am cruel or because I am an awful samaritan. You must understand that my two meager legs do not carry me across our vast campus as fast as your dangerous, sidewalk hoarding, path trailblazing, walker trumping, ever impressive Austin bicycle will carry you. So please bikers, for your own safety, wear a cute little helmet and beware. Us walkers, don’t want to see any of you daredevils scraped up.
Love,
pedestrian peddler
